mel-caronis

Official Farewell

2010-10-31T17:08:00.008+08:00

i just realized that i hadnt gave mellypoopoo an official closing ceremony here. which i thought i did- and i did... in my mind, couple of months ago.. a lot of things happened and ive decided to move a long with the changes

and that is a change im going to bring over to, here as well.

truth be said, the thought of mellypoopoo carries a lot adolescent memories and you know all that nolstagic feelings? in fact the name mellypoopoo was very much a pet name given to me when i was.. 13? ahaha how crazy and excited i would be.. at the thought of snails, frogs and a whole lot of other creatures.. never did intend to continue writing in this space after a series of events that happened in 2008... that was when mel-caronis came by.. when i fell hard head over heels in love with macroni cheese in 2009, so much that my friend started calling me mel-caronis.. and i guess i just didnt stop posting, did i..

but i will now. bid this place goodbye.
so to you, to mellypoopoo, and mel-caronis..
cheers!

i wish you all very good lives
and hope that the change
will be pleasant, comforting and enrching to your heart and soul.

♥mlysssa

immensely intense

2010-06-01T00:11:00.002+08:00

in everything, i look to You

patience, mel, patience.

2010-05-09T22:56:00.001+08:00

im excited

a lot to hope for
a lot to look forward to
a lot to laugh about
a lot to thank for

a lot.

only with great challenges come great victories

2010-05-09T22:37:00.006+08:00

i don remember the last time i wallowed in self-pity

this, is definitely a miracle year.

if i were the old me, i would have been drowned in tears and dissapointments.

"You don't drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there."

ive never touched a seagull in my life, its not a secret

2009-12-17T15:38:00.007+08:00

wasnt just twice or thrice..

its a record.

this is an exception
i do not like 'new record.

the stress is building
the next couple of years
are just gonna get tougher

the intensity is escalating like never before

but so is His glory magnifying like never before

what ever it is
im not dying

and whats really cool is, i can still hang out -with awesome people
doodle with rad music playing through this pair of really sick headphones

what ever it is
im living life

uhhuh these little things make me wanna eat lesser banana chips
lesser

dwell

2009-09-21T21:40:00.004+08:00

deeper
deeper
deeper

..

the narrow pathway

2009-09-06T18:07:00.003+08:00

i was chosen. i am chosen.

i chose. i choose.

i choose to make my choices wisely.

these choices never ends.

these choices comes

everyday

everywhere

every moment

im choosing

i choose

Your way

my first vlogggg!???

2009-07-15T12:36:00.000+08:00

and i failed miserably!

i ate it like a real woman..

2009-07-11T13:43:00.005+08:00

come what may

what a world? what a God!

2009-06-30T11:55:00.004+08:00

i have a long list of things to say, but I'll leave it at, You amaze me.

funny, life is.

2009-06-08T17:57:00.004+08:00

monday. today's a monday. the week has just begun. but to some, the weekend is over. you too need not remind me that we're just into the second half of the year. a lot has transpired.

more adjustments in the coming weeks. need quick adaption to changes in the following months.

wish all very good lives.

on a sunday morning

2009-05-07T00:48:00.005+08:00

as i unclosed my eyes
death greeted me

inhale the freshness

2009-03-16T14:21:00.008+08:00

oh careful pelting rain
surely you don want to hurt those roots there...
do you?

yes yes i hear your encouragements
how more deafenning can those claps be?
please do be gracious
do be

what intensity and enthusiasm you posess
flashing such audaciousness to me..
i sure am giggling

mm..
im soaked
.. i am

is this spring rain?

2009-03-16T14:17:00.000+08:00

so it sprung..

wrenched wrench wrenches wrenching

2009-03-05T12:06:00.004+08:00

abuser abuses abused
abused abuses abuser

victimizer victimzed victim
victim victimizes victimizer
victimized victimless

twilight zone

2009-03-03T03:47:00.003+08:00

there is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man.
it is a dimension as vast as space
and as timeless as infinity.
it is the middle ground between light and shadow,
between science and superstition,
and it lies between the pit of man's fears
and the summit of his knowledge.
this is the dimension of imagination.

rod sterling

sommige geschiedenissen zijn nooit een verleden

2009-02-23T23:43:00.001+08:00

ik had moeten weten
ik maakte een dwaas van mezelf...
dus nu ik ben rekening een stap terug
terug naar waar ik moet zijn ...

a lot happened..

2009-02-22T03:57:00.001+08:00

within

funny how things happen at particular times..

2009-01-29T23:41:00.004+08:00

ive absolutely no idea where and how i should begin this entry. or even what to post. what was supposed to be said were forgotten (some..quite forcefully), and what's said's said. i dont quite know what else to say about it.

My first article

2008-11-19T06:58:00.004+08:00

Coming Back to the Heart
Songwriters Showcase 5 by CSMusic

Date: Friday, 24 October 2008
Time: 7:30pmVenue: Acts Centre

I was very excited when Dawn, my literature teacher (and editor of Createlevoyage), said she was sending me to CSMusic's Songwriters Showcase 5 as a writer. Having never attended a gig, I wasn't too sure what to expect. And since it was a Christian event, I was even more excited.

Despite the horrendous traffic along South Bridge Road, I managed to reach China Square central on the dot. Contrary to my pre-gig-scene idea of people hanging around and busily conversing with drinks in their hands, I found myself entering a Christian store with a sign that read, "No drinks and food allowed". For a brief moment, I thought I had gotten the venue wrong. Holding a gig in a mall seemed a tad unconventional. Nevertheless, I found a seat in the awkwardly still-empty hall and caught a few breaths before heading out to familiarise myself ...read more...

cme w me cme away w me

2008-11-03T22:54:00.011+08:00

couple more days and im out
out 2 sea
out 2 unfamiliarity
out 2 venture
out 2 grow
out 2 touch
out 2 give
out 2 ..

im out.

i don get u

beauty truth, truth beauty

2008-10-25T01:49:00.019+08:00

Romans 1:20-22 (King James Version)
20For the invisible things of him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even his eternal power and Godhead; so that they are without excuse:
21Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened.
22Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools,

receive remember rejoice

i see me in u

2008-10-06T22:22:00.003+08:00

she's so beautiful
her skin's so soft and delicate
her eyes; a glimpse of blue
i snuggle into arms once more
i feel her chest slowly risin and descendin n her heart beating
i tink it skipped a beat
her hair's fine and now short
her freckles of all colors possible
i twiddle my fingers and let out a noise
so did she

i feel her blood runnin thru my veins

she's in me

shining across the eons

2008-10-06T21:35:00.006+08:00

yet the stars still twinkle, fightin 2 b seen in e light-polluted sky. pinpicks dey r, yet city lights dey r not. tho citylights may be miles away, but these stars r immense bodies of glowing gas w their light travellin unimaginable lengths 2 reach us. who knows tht star im looking @ may not exist nw but ill never get 2 noe abt it until millions of years later.

grown up things

2008-09-28T23:55:00.001+08:00

even so.. i find myself thinkin of her.. wanting to feel tht wind.. its a secret wanting.. lyk a song i cant stop hummin.. or loving smeone u can nvr haf.

no matter how much shes damaged me
no matter how flawed she is
i know she loves me

wild thornberrys

2008-09-28T21:50:00.002+08:00

pickles and mushrooms

2008-09-13T13:02:00.004+08:00

salt and pepper

peas and carrots

#692447 victim

2008-08-27T15:33:00.004+08:00

peel and eat a banana

2008-08-22T22:57:00.001+08:00

for health's sake

#782531 victim

2008-08-12T21:42:00.001+08:00

now i must say this artwork is one of the few items in my house tht doesnt set my teeth on edge. its loud and colorful, but at least thr's some warmth to it, or so i lyk to imagine. and it was created by my dad. i suppose tht might been something to do with why i lyk it. i go over and turn on the little chrome spotlight, which makes the colors pop. my mom doesn lyk to leave the lights on in the aparment since she's an electricity conservation freak. but sometimes i get up in the night and come in here and turn on the little light and just look at the painting. its an abstract that i dont really understand, but somehow it comforts me.

i feel tightness in my chest again. its like someone has wrapped a leather strap around me and is steadily cinching it in....

the next 65 days of my life

2008-08-11T19:07:00.003+08:00

is destined and assigned to a murderous job

and the following 27 days
would be the executions of the 5 subjects

after which, i would rejoice, for the next chapter of my life begins...

with...

an unfamiliar language.

Never-meant-to-be-cracked-codes

2008-08-11T18:59:00.000+08:00

i guess i was supposed to find out anyway

a part of me wishes to deny
but on what grounds could i choose to negate?

conversely, i ought to be glad

Oh yeah, im probably just going through another teenage phase...

i should realllly get back to books.

2008-08-09T11:21:00.004+08:00

so i was typing up a post, a really long entry about what happened the past few weeks and what i planned to do the next couple of months and the internet decided to conk me out. now im back to my second sentence. ugh!

anyways, it has been long since i laughed so hard and so much and so long. i had rachel over my place for 2 consecutive nights, and last night was theee best. who knew supper whould be that great. if the macdonalds near my place was open 24hrs, i doubt we would had tht much fun. It was about 1 in the morning when we 'sneaked out' of the house to get some chips, chicken fillet and bread. we had some 'we-made' chickenmayo sandwiches with ice milo and a heap full of milo powder on it and a cup of over-soaked kimchi noodles and.... a bag of 'really tasty' chips. sure it was a gooood 3 mealcourse. i don think i could chew anymore today.

well, i shalln re-compose today's entry and go use the time to do something more productive like math equations or least what i deemed cooler, like poppin my head somewhere out of my house. (right an excuse because i forgot what i was supposed to blog, all thanks to the server.)

oh yeh......
im not exactrly a patriotic person buttt..
here it goes....
happy birthday singapore.

soon.

Your love lives eternally

2008-08-07T23:38:00.005+08:00

You are the reason why Im still living
You are the reason why I love to live
You are the reason why I am still going to live
clinging on to You, i pray i would not turn away from you, anyhow, any way.
let my heart be filled with gratitude everyday of my life.
let my love for You never die.

2008-07-04T00:12:00.019+08:00

so contained, so restricted, so violent, so confined
so lively, so beautiful, so upsetting
so free, so wild, so light
so much, so overwhelming, so measly, so selfish
heavy, impeded, trapped,
liberty, peace, ease, frankness
joy.
love.

release

Where the hell is Matt?

2008-06-24T17:06:00.009+08:00

Baby, if you love me, wont you just check this out?

I love you and im so checking this out!

Love.

melissa wonders and hopes..

2008-06-22T17:02:00.006+08:00

melissa is womdering what should her next move be. to leave things as it is or.. to do sth. melissa hopes she wouldn make the wrong choices. melissa wonderss...... melissa hopes for some response. melissa hopes for sth more. yeh, melissa hopes for sth more.

melissa hopes for a whole new exciting chapter.

funny bunny

2008-06-16T19:09:00.014+08:00

she threw tht sushi right after i took this. watch that lioness

ann has a beautiful face

not everything is abt you

2008-06-09T20:13:00.019+08:00

i had a weird dream yesterday. it was about shrimps and prawns.

be nice.

2008-06-09T19:59:00.000+08:00

Use the first letter of your first name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things - nothing made up. You cannot use your own name for the boy/girl names.

1. What is your name? melissa
2. A 4 letter word: mate
3. A vehicle: motorbikes
5. A boy’s name: matt
6. A girl’s name: morgan
8. An occupation: marine biologist
9. Something you wear: macintosh
10. A celebrity: megan fox
11. Something found in a bathroom: mirror
12. Reason for being late: major measles outbreak!
13. Something you shout: MOMM
14. A body part: mouth
15. Word to describe yourself: masterpiece! mmhm, i say, merry

2008-06-07T01:00:00.003+08:00

new expressions
excites us
entices us
interests us
and often brings more than wot it seems
becors it really means more than wot it seems

2008-06-06T22:58:00.010+08:00

starfishes aren soft, at least the ones ive touched, they are hard and tough and rough. do u noe they haf eyes on each of its arms? an eye for an arm.

i had bin trying 2 learn how to move my eyes independently from one another lyk how seahorses does it so naturally, but my eyes ends up ~~quite much~~ sorta lyk this cat-

poorkitty, dilated pupils.

2008-06-05T22:41:00.001+08:00

how shuld i begin??? o dear! i dont know wot to type first! im afraid of spoilin the nice clean pageeee. O! panic stations! lets haf a cup of coffee instead.

2008-06-03T21:44:00.000+08:00

when i look @ you, i see a whole lot of emotions, i feel a whole lot of emtions... from glee to guilt to anger to loneliness to sadness to gladness to.. and it just goes on. ur drool can be reall disgusting but cute. now, i see the thirst for love. sleep tight my sweetheart.

passengers are advised tht the next voyage to the unknown will start at midnight.

I AM LEGEND

2008-06-03T21:21:00.004+08:00

*pictures are removed*

all of em, are delusions?

2008-05-31T07:34:00.003+08:00

how does it feel lyk?

how does it feel when everyone

everyone who's 'real' tells u tht dey aren real?

2008-05-30T19:11:00.002+08:00

.. and the darkness lifted and she could see her way home, so the princess returned to her father's castle and they all live happily ever after.

2008-05-25T22:51:00.002+08:00

felicious's invasionnnnnnnnnnn on mel's blog and pretty multicolor towel. so today we're gna do a list crazy insane whacky and definitely supercalifagerlisticaspeeladocious stuff we did in the past. PAST TENSE. CAPITAL LETTER PAST. AS IN, PAST CORS WE DON'T DO THAT NO MORE. DUH, ITS IN THE PAST. LIKE, THE. PAST. PAST TENSE. ALL MEMORIES, IS ALL.

we used to run around Ginza, doing stupid (but fun) things cors we were the koolkids back then muahas.
eg, doing unauthorized surveys: dropping a ten dollar note randomly to see if people behind us will take it or leave it or return it or eat it or ditch it or poop on it or simply ignore it.
eg, dancing every ten steps of the way.
our meals were covered cors we always get free samples of food kudos to the lovely bubble tea aunty, shoutout to you: if you're magically reading this, we wanna thank you for the yummy-ness you have geberously provided us with! i meant, ge-bbeenenerrerererously! wait um i meant..... fine, GENEROUSLY :D
the oohlaoh shop aunty who used to sell the 'latest fashion in paris'. remember the game we would play in that red cozy shop?!
we absolutely love sardineeesssss! well, not talking abt canned tomahtoes squshed up sardines here, whr u smack them btwn ur slices of toasted breaddd. BUTTTT, is was a game of catch except it is kooler for kids lyk us, and we wuld get the attention we nidded.
yes, we were attention-seeking egoists who loved to scream and run around- letting our enotions out creatively by runing around like a maniac.

OKAY DUE TO UNFORESEEN CIRCUMSTANCES..... TO BE CONTINUEDDD. bye. (GOSH THIS IS SO ABRUPT, OH WELL. TA-DA

2008-05-19T23:47:00.005+08:00

you-don-know-who: "well, u noe they.. we, are close but we don noe one another... its lyk the unspoken bond, the mysterious bond...... the james bond"

well, today... was... more than words.

2008-05-16T00:08:00.008+08:00

nesting @ home, you say?

ive got this reallly strong feeling tht tht whole placid melancholy melissa is tryin to creep her way out again.

i dragged in my tray of different shades of charcoals and pencils and laid in bed.. big strokes thin lines, attemptin to trigger and unleash this inner rabid mel. but i guess it all din work... wot a loser. so wif a shred of hope, i went online and tried to talk to people? but, i guess, the frequency just weren right too. and b4 i knew it.. i found myself already skippin my way to the dvd rental shop, how great, got some gory, lovey, foreign shows, and went hme. my family joined in, and we feasted our night away.

here's to another _____, cheers.

2008-05-10T01:04:00.008+08:00

it would really be great if u've got a pair of earplugs... well.... enjoy

did you see tht coming?

2008-05-04T13:55:00.007+08:00

stories tht i never knew.
stories tht are not just stories.
stories are here to stay.

so recent events got me thinking. quite a heap of issues just wouldn stop ringing in my head. thankfully, most of them are for a good cause, and the minority... quite a bothersome.

and before i go into too much of the unnecessary personal details, im off to do some homemade sushi.

2008-04-20T23:27:00.005+08:00

i waited for You today
but You din show up
no
no
no
i needed You today
so where did You go?
You told me to call
said You'd be there
and though i haven seen You
are You still there?

i cried out wif no reply
and i cant feel You by my side
so i'll hold tight to wot i noe
You're here and im never alone

and though i cannot see You
and i cant explain why
such a deep, deep reassurance
You've placed in my life

we cannot seperate
cos You're part of me
and though You're invisble
i'll trust the unseen

we cannot seperate
You are part of me
and though You are invisible
i will trust the unseen

2008-04-19T00:16:00.010+08:00

' im staying up tonight just for the sky.. '

ive nvr seen lightning bolts lyk these tonight. its almost daylight when it strikes, its really interesting. now, im just overwhelmed by fanscination... thr isn any stars tonight.

so early this evening, i met up wif sweetards. and we all had a fanstatic time tgt. ps, sara, has grown taller and hotter. we had one hellla shizzle-trashy-moronic-lunatic-awesumnic dinner. feels lyk we're back to how we were 2 yrs ago.

oh thts another lightning, bwoy, its so beautiful. speaking of which, i totallly want to chase a tornado now. imagine if you could witness the evolvement of a tornado, and get sucke into the eye, and the next mintue, come crashing into some bull pit or sth. HAH. okay, the sky's now pinkissh and sure looks lyk a pool of strwberry yogurt. im hungry.

i don wanna let You go, i love You being right here wif me, talking to me, i feel so close to You, so intimate. i don feel lost at all, and i don feel lonely and rejected. i know You will nvr leave me wotever the situation might be. i feel safe. i feel rmbered. i feel you whispering into my heart. i don feel neglected, i feel wanted. i feel love. thank You, for this, for eveything, i thnak You for You. i don want to ever walk away from You. no, i want to keep walking towards You, with You for the rest of my life. i want to be faithful, just as how faithful You are to me. You sent the rain, din You? and the lightning, and everything. you had it planned. You're more than amazing.

2008-04-17T19:32:00.005+08:00

so, whr shall i begin?

mom and i, are going better than ever. we went out a few times. we had dinner tgt. we had breakfast tgt. we, even did housechores tgt. its incredible. ive never tot such a day wuld come this soon. dad's health seems to be doing fine, cept his occasional eye irritation. my younger brother seems to cling on me more often, and i haf a date wif my older brother next weekend. parents' new art studio is almot done. dad and mom got a few deals. so, thts wonderful.

just last evening, i met up wif jon evans & buds. they are entertaining lyk they were, funny, crappy, and all tht.
i just met rae this afternoon, we had a good catch up, her life now is almost a drama. and i must say, she seems to be growing prettier each day. mhmm, but her height's bin the same for the past few yrs. ahahah, how cute.

someone just fell, im sure.

2008-04-03T01:34:00.015+08:00

Hello.
Sup.

My name's Melissa.

Hi, and this is my space, here. I'm not exactly a regular blogger, but I do try to make a point.
So, let's get started.

A little about me. um*
I'm seventeen years old and um* I'm about 1.68m (5.5 feet) tall, oh, most of you are probably unaware that I've got a small lung capacity. so yes, i kinda pant on random occassion, and sometimes, yeah, pant. Well, I love Subway, but Im not obssesed with it.
mhmm..

I can really yakkee dee yak yak.

Im just not into screamos or trance, but I am totally cool with the other genres. I absolutely love Forever The Sickest Kids, they are the shizzle. 'hey brittannny!' .I love Maksim too, and.. um* basically, alot of music. 'music makes the world go round, chyeah?'

ive got trouble buying jeans or longs, because whenever i try my longs, they are usually too short adn it really sucks, cause not alot of stores offer the length that compliments me well since my legs are longer than the average..

hah! im really interested in wildlife, marine biology, and you know those stuff you watch on discovery channel & national geographic. i confess, there's this part in me tht is secretly screaming: 'when i grow up, i want to be a wildlife ecologist!' why are you lookin at me like tht?

btw, haf you tried sprinkling salt on slugs or snails? i know you know wot's gonna happen. its just so intersting how they cringe, and slowly dissolve, and in minitues, dissaapear into thin air.

I die to go to Belitze now! and many other places. I love to travel.
when i was a kid, my family was always on a backpack, ive been to many places, like france, rome, scotland, london, spain, etc etc.. i lived in china for a few months, and in europe about a yr or so too. sadly, i could hardly remember anything. i was young young.

well, i guess things haf changed.

although i no longer do those frequent flight trips and holidays and eveything. i am really happy wif how everything is going now, thru good and bad tides...

well, thts all for now.
be nice folks!

XOXO

2008-04-02T02:18:00.003+08:00

So there she was, just standing in line at the cafeteria, trying to decide whether to haf a hotdog bun or a bowl of mushroom soup.

2008-03-30T05:04:00.005+08:00

rushing and racing and running in circles
moving so fast im forgetting my purpose
blur of the traffic is sending me spinning
getting nowhere
my head and my heart are colliding chaotic
pace of the world i just wish i could stop it
try to appear like ive got it together
im falling apart
save me
somebody take my hand and lead me
slow me down
don't let love pass me by
just show me how
cause im ready to fall
slow me down
don't let me live a lie before my life flies by
i need you to slow me down
sometimes i fear that i might disappear
in the blur of fast forward I falter again
forgetting to breathe
i need to sleep
im getting nowhere

2008-03-26T01:02:00.003+08:00

FORGING AHEAD

xxx. .xxx

pls discontinue if u haf a weak heart

2008-03-23T04:20:00.025+08:00

we're not halloweeners, not here to play beggars
but we, 're ur darkest fears..

DEMONSS FROM HELL

a heap load of realizations lately

am still as wasted. ):

2008-03-20T17:38:00.006+08:00

mhmm.

it seems to take awhile huh?

im so tuckered out, so whacked.

wot is this im feeling?

white lilies;

2008-03-12T23:22:00.001+08:00

''Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration. ''

Thomas Edison

2008-03-07T07:45:00.004+08:00

hello you slimeheads

its bin nearly a month since ive logged in to this space. reasons vary.

so yes, ive bin good, healthy and you could say happy.

oddly, ive come to the end of my second week of sch. mhm. i do notice tht the kids here are... wot you can say, distinctive from one another. they all haf a certain type personality and character, so no one really tries to blend in or play 'i am the you'. if you are lyk type A, you are type A. to tink tht i tot i wuld meet a whole bunch of apathetic people, worst, kookies, it came to me tht everyone here is super friendly and quite much convivial. oh the teachers are wonderful. you don get any sort of garrulous lectures and talks, they basically go straight to the point making the lessons really focused 'and loud', so napping in classes can be quite tedious actually. thankfully, or not.

believe it or die, sch starts @ 9.30am and ends at 6 everyday! well, except for thursdays it starts at 11. still, im spending my whole day in sch! gimme a break! ohoh, breaks? abt breaks, its quite outrageous how on somedays we get a 3hr break. (yeh yeh, thts why sch ends at 6) fine, i shalln say its ridiculous, cors i actually do appreciate the breakkks.

mm, i lyk breaks. :P

anyway, pls do hug a treee, and confess your years of empathy to it. you noe they haf bin lonely and sad and... do you not?! and we all noe tht they will be of utmost gratitude if u wld just, just, hug them. and .. well, if you, my dear is deemed worthy, you might even receive the most honorable gift the tree can ever bestow upon you, a durian.

peace, be nice. ;]
you noe you love me!

2008-02-09T13:37:00.000+08:00

being sick stinks.

2008-02-08T12:40:00.002+08:00

if you lyk '2 days in Paris', you might just lyk 'Amelie' too. u shuld totally watch it. its not lyk those gay movie whr they try really hard to get their audience to laugh -its such a big no no.

And since, its The lunar new year, everyone's busy collecting red packets and fat their stomachs wif plates and plates of yu sheng, i wuld be such a sad loser if don [try to] do just the same and feel just as busy and excited.

Melissa is trying to keep herself busy so she wuldn trn into a bad bad couch potato. God knows when i becme all tht artsy . i dug out some box of markers, cards, fancy papers, shoes, sewin kit, cloths, socks... anything i find interesting actually, and made quite a mess in my room. well, tht keeps me busy, doesn it? But, its only a couple more hrs i get back to walks, theaters, museums, galleries, performances and caffeine

later, xoxo.

tink abt it...

2008-02-07T00:18:00.000+08:00

just when you are laughing, there is someone, or many who are crying. just when you are up the ferris wheel, someone, or many are being physically/sexually abused. just when you are partying, someone or many are weeping over their loved who just died. just when you are shopping, someone or many got infected by a incurable disease. just when you are praising, someone or many are cursing in vain. just when....

and someone screams: 'wot did i do to deserve this?'
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
and the other asks: 'wot did i do to deserve Him?'

2008-02-06T19:11:00.001+08:00

okay, right now, im hungry, i will go cook some decent food.
happy birthday me.

2008-02-04T15:12:00.000+08:00

rubber duckyy is your best friend.

2008-02-02T23:41:00.000+08:00

feel my hips
my arms
my hair
my lips
ever sweating...

ever had those sudden freaky moments whr your stomach feel so idiotically hollow , and ur throat just feel so sticky, and ur mind in this swirl, and you asked yourself, wot haf i been doin wif my life? and u seem pretty desperate for a, any remote control; ur thumb is tapping on the slow-motion button, like uncontrollably. and suddenly, u jsut wish u culd just do a meltdwn on sum's shoulders, but all u culd do, was to stare at this pathetic signboard tht reads 'fine $5000.. bla blah' and you culdn be any bothered, and ur lyk, wot's this sudden emptiness? lyk, wot shuld i do? i nid to take walks, i nid caffeine, i nid someone wif flesh- physically visible, and.. hugs.

2008-01-31T18:29:00.003+08:00

I have such a wonderful family.
Such Great Dad
Such Marvelous Moms
Such Cute Brothers
Such Awesome Friends
Such Fantastic Leaders
and definitely, He Magnificent.

isn it beautiful?
don you find it amazing, tht the brilliant sun is here in our galaxy..
providing light and warmth and growth.. life...

2008-01-27T16:47:00.001+08:00

the end of January twenty.o.eight
tht is kinda fast. don u tink so?

and i am so happy for the many of you, who has done outstandingly well for ur o's! `and the many is everyone. snort* and even tho its a sad tht i did realllllly bad for o's, im so soaked wif wots gna happen next. tell me abt it.

my week was splendid.

i took quite a few quizzes, i must warn you. um, accuracy? ;/

You Are Not Prissy

You're the furthest thing from a princess - and you probably stay far away from any princess types you know.
You have an easygoing approach to living. It doesn't take a lot to make you happy.
And when life requires it, you're ready to get your hand a little dirty.
There's no problem you're too prissy to tackle!

How Prissy Are You?

Your Social Anxiety Level: 24%

You have low social anxiety.
Of course very unfamiliar or strange situations make you uncomfortable.
But you can pull through and handle almost any social occasion with grace.

Are You Socially Anxious?

pfft. really interesting quizzes... i reckon u shuld check em out.

never leaving me...

2008-01-13T11:27:00.001+08:00

It ww.. *ehem, excuse me. had a tickle in my throat just then... so, on with it... it will be the biggest, fattest and the juiciest virtual lie ever if i were to punch in> my week was fine.

last saturday was gruesome, somewhr near to the point of no return. it was one of those days, whr the already-rather-big problems seemed to just get bigger and bigger, and the minors were many and varied. and... you know, wot can be worst than days of uncertainties colliding wif days like these. but somehow, i managed to weep to sleep, hoping to get by wif it till monday and work and fore....

then, who knew? dwn he came, from his mighty kingdom and sat at my bedside, nudged me from my sleep on a beautiful sunday morning. (tho a lil too early, but never too early, if u get my drift...) From horizon to horizon, stars... filled the usual naked sky. and they were twinkling, twinkling my dear. stars. are. rocks. in. space? i highly doubt so. they were angels, sent from above, they were softly yet vividly whispering into my heart, with words of assurance, love, peace, joy... it was an utter marvel. And tht was all i ever needed... a touch. and i know at tht very moment, my God is the realest. It is no coincidental how the stretch of stars came tgt right abve my house, gathered in the west of Singapore, twinkling away.. oits glowing light wrapped me with warmth and love, peace and joy...

oh how Magnificent You are.

new yr - new look

2008-01-11T00:44:00.000+08:00

with all the happennings and transformation and in tis space here... im gonna potchky and mess ard wif how tis space here looks. don be surprised if it looks different frm one day to e next!

I want neither a terrorist spirituality that keeps me in a perpetual state of fright about being in right relationship with my heavenly Father nor a sappy spirituality that portrays God as such a benign teddy bear that there is no aberrant behavior or desire of mine that he will not condone. I want a relationship with the Abba of Jesus, who is infinitely compassionate with my brokenness and at the same time an awesome, incomprehensible, and unwieldy Mystery.

Brennan Manning

the 10-min blog

2008-01-09T21:19:00.000+08:00

tho late by appro.. (this is whr ur fingers and toes are put to good use), 9 days... its time to reflect on the events tht has shaped the past 365 days, they are special and never to be repeated.

i am ready 4 the fresh start of a new yr, i have so many hopes- so much anticipation and expectancies for the next ~~365~~.... 356 days.

I am stteepin forward in faith & trustin the process..

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us ... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same ...
– Marianne Williamson

spread the good news.

Picture Blog

2008-01-06T19:30:00.003+08:00

here's a p-log..

our caramel chocolate (yes she insisted on the marshmallow topping.. )

Jerome and Amelia.on our way to e2maxxxxx

'vanessa's last dinner'

why.did.you.leave.me?

2008-01-06T15:23:00.000+08:00

I close my eyes
I open my mind
I think of things
Yet to come
One day I will see
The face of my love
One day i will be in
Somebody's arms
Until that day
Will come to of
I close my eyes
And dream a dream

Garden Tour

2008-01-05T15:38:00.000+08:00

You who walk,

Maybe with troubled thoughts,
Come, enter here and rest;
And may the sweet serenity of growing things,
And the heavenly,peace
Be mirrored in they soul.
-Doxis M. Palmer

this morning, i took a walk in the Botanical garden, wandered slowly thru beauty i did nth to create... and it was as if, those flowers and trees were whispering to me..

2008-01-01T23:29:00.000+08:00

hey everyone, i tot i would do a very quick post.

so, um, its been an o-kay week, i wanna just kinda say hello to everyone and um, been kinda getting messages frm a few people people, asking me if i am okay, and things like that, and i am fine. kinda told a few close ones how lonely i felt and all this kind of thing, but it turned out to be very sweet, very melancholy type of, you know, really emotional... i guess im rambling here, i don really haf much to say, its been kinda of a quiet week... um, emotional week. and er, i read this article the other day, just abt how, whoever said it gets easier if.. you know full-of-bullshit, just haf no idea wot they are talking abt... so, yea, besides tht, nothing much else is happenin.. well, its getting harder and harder, to talk to anyone, just by being myself. and honestly, i dunno how long am i gna last, until.. i dunno, whenever tht may be.

and other news.. dance training resumes this week. er, also, ive got a job. an office work, pretty chilled, not as hectic as it may appeal...

um, nth. much. else. tht is jsut wot i kinda want to tell you guys wot ive bin up to..

*yawns*

well, 2008 is gonna be a g8 end, i can feel it.

I went horseriding and fishing. and sure it was sweeet. ive got fat prawns in my net. fat prawns in my net.

2007-12-28T01:26:00.001+08:00

28 december 2007, friday.

6.50am. wash up. morning stretches. cab ride. hello leonard. paper work. interview. bye leonard. bus ride. vivo. gift hunt. train ride. 1230pm. orchard. hello limei. lunch. bye limei. 2.30. bus ride. plaza sgpura. gift hunt. train ride. tiong bahru. gift hunt. train ride. city hall. gift hunt. marina sq. gift hunt. 6pm. sg philatelic musuem. hello artists. hello parents. buffet. bye artists. funan IT mall. challenger. bus ride. 8.30pm. cine. takashimaya. coffee bean. 9.50pm. movie. 12am. bus ride. home.

tht wuld do it.

ive lost a best friend. we were such g8 mates. we talked, we laughed. we screamed. we danced. we, were soooo fine. she was the first n only person i ever felt comfortable wif. it doesn matter if we were to sit somewhr along orchard and remained slient for hrs, as long we're on the same bench. its as tho, we had our hearts neatly knitted tgt, and tht's all it matters, having one another to count on. but, i guess, she left.

2007-12-27T19:42:00.000+08:00

hola.

its bin quite awhile, n boy sure felt a nid 2 do myself a favor 2 update tis space hre... life's bin pretty much e same, not. but.... im doin fine, surprisingly n thankfully. oh yea, did sumone mention christmas is just a bend away? oh, tell mi abt it, cors im ready 4 e big fat turkey, big fat turkey, big fat turkey, yea, e big fat turkey, biiiiiig faaaaaaat tuurrrrrrrkeeeey.

2007-11-28T00:43:00.000+08:00

hello people.

let me sum everything into 3 simple words: and alot happened.

now, wasnt tht easy and fast? i dunno, woteva happened the past weeks, words just cant do it all ive these, these whole lot of emotions..... and thoughts running all over my head. its like, i am going to explode. yes, im happy, and really happy, but im worried, and afraid too. He says to me, do not worry and do not be afraid, but i just cant help but to. doesn make much of a sense, does it? its okay....

and abt this explosive crap in me.. boy, tht, is so much i want to turn them into a dance. i dunno how to put this, but, ive this ugh... explosive. dynamic. crazy. wild. raging. atomic. fiery. crazy, crazy. its crazy. its trying to unleash itself from inside, inside me. its trying to express, no. its trying to.. run, fly, speed, its trying to get out, its trying to.. i dunno, its driving me crazy. ive nvr felt this way b4. its not a hip hop item, nor ballet... its, not modern, or jazz, nor latin.. its, melissa's ...... life. i dunno, its, its, trying to burst forth, explosion. wild. but .. sweet..loving, peaceful..... forget it. its not working. its not. well, gd night.

2007-11-26T13:24:00.000+08:00

ever enjoyed a party where everyone was blitzed both on weed and booze, or disturbed becors they're all highly inebriated and blasted.

saturday vs sunday
praising vs cursing
praying vs drinking
local vs foreign
joy vs joy

2007-11-21T11:53:00.000+08:00

tickle bone has fled, or so it would seem. i was dusting my blog, and i realised how my posts are pretty much disjointed, which means not all my thoughts necessarily come in a chronological order rather by perplex streams of subconsiciouness. So im blogging, at least not those half-assed jobs i did for the past posts and i feel that this sentence is gettin way too long but i realise i can continue typing it without pause or hesitaion-like from those various coonjuctions and punctuations that mke it seem like the entire sentence makes sense but in reality is simply ridiculous. inhale.

and i tink i will start a new paragraph.

and a new paragraph. water has never been this tasteless, its completely bland and ... flavorless, right? that. of cors is a rhetorical qns. and i don mean to say that water is now, distasteful. its, still great or still as fine. now, im gay. you probably think tht im not in a right frame of mind and find it positively depressing, but i love going to the botanical garden, sit by the bustling town, coffeebean, movies, window shopping, musuems, strolls, long train rides with my own company.. its like falling somewhere along a spectrum of comfort in being with myself. it replenishing and strangely peaceful. anywoo, i will be really busy for the next couple of weeks and blogging would be quite irregular then (not tht it has been). dance training from 9am-8pm on mon, thurs, fri and 9am-10pm on tuesday and wednessday.

eoy period seems to bring on those deep thinking spells, don dey?

2007-11-20T12:30:00.000+08:00

20 things to do on a wet day

#1. Read a book
#2. Go to a mall
#3. Catch a movie
#4. Bake some cookies and mess up the kitchen
#5. Play boardgames or indoor games.
#6. Tody your room
#7. Surf the net
#8. To a museum
#9. Knit a puppet
#10. ummm, watch charlie chaplin
#11. and more charlie chaplin...
#12. Compose a song
#13. and more charlie chaplin...
#14. Make some videos
#15. Have a hot shower
#16. Draw and paint
#17. Long nap
#18. and more charlie chaplin...
#19. fabricate some stories
#20. Do a list of what to do on a rainy day

e-hugs.

2007-11-17T14:05:00.000+08:00

when men carried
their dead with a stretcher.
they left a dead cat on the road;
but even if they would bury the cat.
They would do it
not because it has a soul
but because it stinks.

world peace.

2007-11-09T01:54:00.000+08:00

november8, thursday: tour has begun!
[arren you exciteeed?]
STOP#1: chinatown... and probably some world war2 sites.
wif rachel hun <3

and guys? do bring your poncho or brolly along if your going out.
its a wet novembeer.

2007-10-29T12:41:00.000+08:00

am i losing someone so lovely and funny and amazing yet again??

i woke up as a lioness this morning and been practicing my roar. its not too scary yet, but it's getting there.

so here's sth, b4 you start complaining tht my posts are getting shorter and boring..

so long and goodbye.

2007-10-28T00:08:00.000+08:00

there's something wrong wif me lately.

2007-10-25T22:43:00.000+08:00

the last time someone actually dialed my house was probably a century ago. thanks to my mom and her really nice friendly tone.

so anyway, im just gonna blog away my bad mood.

any plans for the coming hols? if you do, thats awesome and if you need any company, you can im/mail/beep me and i'll be more than happy to be ure o7hol's buddy. and no, that doesn mean i haven got myy hols plans. im not sure if my parents are ditching me in singapore, but if they do, it doesnt matter. i've got my back-up plans. im not gonna tell you anything just yet, so stay tuned and you will find out soon enuf...

im bringing childish back yo.

2007-10-23T12:33:00.000+08:00

grrrr.. gooood e-vennning
i have surrendered all my electronic devices to my mom, that includes my cellphone, laptop and player. (um, my ipod is tucked under my pillow. me tinks mom forgot i actually have one.) see the only reason why this entry is posted cos im using my bro's computer, and that both my mom and him are not at hme)

anyway, i tink sorethroat is making his comeback this season. :( i too haf been ruminating over quite a couple of issues the past week. & oh yea, blogskin hunt is back again, after o's that is. if you din notice, i change it once every semester yo.

2007-10-19T22:05:00.000+08:00

so, i just sent zac and jade to the busstop. zac shot another 2 cm and jade's new-hairdo is awesome. they thought i sat for my local major exams already and could go to charl's party tmw. so much for coming up wif scripts to convince my mom and waiting for me for 2 whole hrs. good golly, i haf really been missing out quite abit, julia's attached and so is charlee. jade attempts into quitting cursing and other issues as well. told me that im getting a lil 'chi-mise' now, and not as wild. well, maybe.

2007-10-16T22:58:00.000+08:00

yet another.

It was an all too normal day for Jessica. There was nothing more to do in the morning after she woke up besides take a bath, sit in front of the mirror, and put on a face.

“Which one shall I do today? The smiling one, the smiling one, or the smiling one?”

She looked at her watch and ran out of the house, getting onto the school bus just in time.

She made her way to the back of the bus, the guys trying to trip her and the girls shunning her. They flung things onto her and pulled her hair all the way to school.

And still she smiled.

She walked through the overly long hallways of her school, completely ignoring the people who pointed at her. Those she could ignore. Their not so hushed whispers she could not.

“Hey look, there’s the idiot who failed everything!”

She dug her nails into her own palm.

“She’s pulling down the image of the whole school! Leave us, freak!”

She slid her clenched fists into her jacket pockets.

“She thinks she’s being cool.”

She wanted to rebuke that girl, but held her tongue.

“That thing? No way! Is she shameless or what?”

She looked down onto the floor as she continued walking.

And still she smiled.

She made her way to her history classroom and selected a seat at the back of the class. When she took a seat, the four people who sat adjacent to her stood up and walked away.

And still she smiled.

“Jessica, tell the class about the history of the cold war.”

“I don’t know, sir.”

“You don’t know, huh? Then what’s the point of coming for lessons when you don’t even read up? Why are you even in school? Tell me, do you know what we are learning now?”

“We are learning the beginning of the Cold War, sir.”

“How about in general, Jess?”

“Skills to apply in life, sir.”

The class broke into laughter while the teacher fumed.

And still, Jessica smiled.

“That is just a stupid answer from an equally stupid student! You shouldn’t even be here, and you know why? You’re a disgrace to the school, and a waste of tax payers’ money!”

Something in her cracked. Not wanting, or bearing to hear anymore, she dashed out of the classroom and sprinted to the nearest toilet. Finding herself a cubicle, she locked herself into it. For the first time in her life, her face felt restraining. Her barrier of ice had melted from all the fiery attacks she had received. She rubbed off the plastic smile on her face, allowing her emotions to flow freely. Her eyes were a painting of anguish, terror, pain, fear and sadness. Her warrior’s spirit broke. She felt tears roll down her cheek. Visible tears. Tears that weren’t cried behind her poker face.

Looking at her watch, she unlocked the cubicle and stepped out. Walking to the mirror, she tugged and pulled at her face again. With her plastic face and her ice barrier reconstructed, she walked back to her classroom and sat down as though nothing had happened.

And still she smiled.

2007-10-16T01:21:00.000+08:00

sup chunkies.
feaaatturrring snailmatess!

now snails, line up in 2s and snail back under my bed.

so, how was it? awesome?
oh, yea? you got it. i like snails w/o shells. they look like slugs tho.
shut it, they ARE snails. naked snails are sexy cool.
one of a kind indeed... ;)

oh folks? be nice to strangers, be nice to one another, be nice to snails.
peace. xoxo

2007-10-12T18:32:00.000+08:00

winding;
_____________________________________________________________

oh, here comes ms daisy
oh, fumsy lumpsy daisy.
wots wrong wif her lately?
_______________________________________________________________

found myself today, i found myself and ran away.
something pulled me back, the voice of reason i forgot i had
all i know is just ure not here to say, what you always used to say
but its written in the sky tonight

so i won give up, no i won break down
sooner than it seems life turns around
and i will be strong, even if it all goes wrong
when im standing in the dark ill still believe
someone's watching over me

it doesn matter what people say and it doesn matter how long it takes
believe in myself and i'll fly high
and it only matters how true i am, be true to myself n follow my heart

when im standing in the dark ill still believe
someone's watching over me
so i won give up, no i won break down
and i will be strong

someone's watching over me
_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________

wot went wrong? i want to know... :(

2007-10-12T00:26:00.000+08:00

im missing june.
i miss you amy. i miss you julia. i miss you morgan. i miss you jane. i miss you chips. i miss you tim (tho we just hung out recently). i miss you charlie. i miss you louis. i miss you zac. i miss you tyler. i miss you all. i miss the rest of you. i mis you guys, the endless shit we crapped, the beer, the hugs, the kisses, and everything. the random issues we argued, the silly times we had. i miss all of ure different accents and whacks. yea, i miss being the only one who understands chinese and feeling all superior when interpreting them. the way you guys say the word, aunty* the way you guys hop ard. OH, and the times we had in the chambers booked at e2max. the movie marathon, the popcorns. the spider-theory we had... the dance we did, the teases and... everything else. (yey, cant wait to seee you guys this novemmmberrrr)

and.. now, no one's interested in e2max. or spiders, nor the silly actions, cors they tink its real stupid and crazy, and maybe an embarrasment?! no one's interested in strange hymms. or maybe just a drink or two. the fun, they see as weird, while the strange and boring, they see as fun. this that, that this.
[.....................................]
ignore that.

so, anyway, this is some assvid you shuld check out. 'its just some 10min clip thats gonna tickle you'...

nasty shit huh?

itsy bitsy spider
climbing on the wall
better watch ure step
or in her web, you fall
spin you round in circles
in a net of doubt
if you ever get stuck
i cant get you out
soooo better watch ure step
or in her web, you fall
sssssssssss....

xxx

2007-10-11T12:02:00.000+08:00

"Hey there, you okay?" a sweet voice rung thorugh his head. He abruptly woke up, in a dizzy trance-like state, to find a nurse standin next to him, looking very concerned. Gradually become aware of his surroundings, he realised he was lying in a well-lit hospital room. Not knowing how he got there, nor rembering who he was, he turned and looked back puzzlingly at the nurse.

"I saw you thrashing about from the corridor, but i see that ure're alright now. In any case, i've already sent for the doctor, so stay here until he arrives," she said reassuringly, then leaving the room. He had so many questions, but he understand that the nurse wasnt in a qualified postion to answer them. Easing himself back under the blankets, he recalled that nigthmare justmoments ago...

he was lying on a rickety bed, staring at the flaking point of the ceiling. Then, he heard the distant, woeful cries from the rooom outside. Getting to his feet slowly, he shuffled along the side hall to investigate. And there, he saw a grosteque, disfigured young girl inching towards him with her hollow whispers, "why?"

He couldn bear to look; she had missing fingers, her head was gashed in the side.DEspite that, she looked intimidating, withe the awkward steps, the ragged cries, and above all, that bloodstained knife she wielded. Backin off, he broke into a run, and found himself in the living room. the walls a wash with crimson blood. closing in on the front door, hope turned into despair when he realised it was covered with chains and padlocks that wouldnt come off no matter how he tugged. he tried the windows, but they seemed to be stuck shut. attempts to break them failed. And all this while, she was getting cloeser and closer.

Then she pounced on him. suffering multiple stabs, he struggled to tear free from her unyielding grasp. yet just as she was bout to land a fatal blow, the nurse woke him up. the nigthmare felt so real, he broke out int cold sweat, his heart beating with deafening thumps in the unwovering silience of the room.

"Jim! i see youre awake. i trust youd a good rest?" the doctor asked, walking up to him. So, his name was jim. he replied, "you are...? i feel weak. more inportantly, i don remember anything. why am i here?" The doctor signed, "you may call me vegapunk. you haf been in coma for 3 months, naturally you will feeel weak. Jim, youre really lucky to survice that brutal attack. medman, he was. i don noe much beyond that. regarding your memories, it would take some time for them to return. Or not. you cant be certain about that.Oh, bythe way, jim, you've got to stay under ovservation for a few days. 'Anything else?"

Jim had no other questions, and the doctor went on his way. With the lights switched off, shadows sprung up on the opposite wall, prancing about as tree branches and leaves rustled in the wind. The rattling of the branches on the window, coupled withe the howling of the wind, make it nigh unbearable for Jim. Clearly, a thunderstorm is brewing.

Jim desperately neede to know who he really was, and what he used to do. checking the cupboards and bedside tables, he found his wallet and keys, the former containing identification including his address. with that, he sneaked out.

He arrived at his apartment. placing his hand on the door knob, he hesitated before summoning enough courage to twist it open. His house was exactly the scene as that pictured in his nightmare. certaintly, it was unnerving. But still, Jim pressed on. Dusting off pictures, flipping through books, yet Jim still had absolutely no inkling of the kind of person he was like. until he danced upon the diary kept in his locked drawer.

He, was a prefessional serial killer. REcounting in detail all the murders je had ever commited, he remembered every trial he had been in, from which he escaped unscathed. No, chaining and padlocking the door allowed him to sleep peacefully, instead of trapping him. Unfortunately, the father of a girl he murdered, that girl in his nightmare had come seeking vengeance. He refused to believe all those, though there was no doubt they were true. Suddenly, furious knocking on the door, brought him back to reality. Was that yet a relative of another victim? he looked through the peephole with trepidation, then smiled wistfully.

The police were here.

2007-10-11T01:11:00.000+08:00

kill somebody important, wif a gun.
kill somebody important, wif a knife.
kill somebody important, wif my mind.
yea, maybe i should...

no, we should. kudos! <3

2007-10-10T12:18:00.000+08:00

A man keeps on stealing my soup
to give to his dog
and I like soup
but I cant keep making it
cause he just steals it.

2007-10-08T19:22:00.000+08:00

not the ordinary post

my name is melissa.
who am i?
i am the narrator...

i could tell as soon as i walked up, i was not welcomed. i tried to make a smooth entrance but as fi i, i did a horrible job of it. before i even had a chance to mention lord of the rings or star wars, they left me. And i was alone.

she sat at a table, and twiddled her thumbs, anxiously waiting to join in a conversation, all she wanted was someone, anyone to notice her. An anger, she jumped up, and walked off. but she stopped, it was as if someone was narrating her every thought and action, then she saw me. she cautiously walked up to me and we stared at each other. she slowly nodded her head as if she understood, i nodded back. then she turned and walked away. my work was done.

he sat alone and ate his lunch, he seem to be an outcast. my assumption was correct. but wait, someone was coming to talk to him... no, she wasnt. his hopes were dashed to the floor. and then, i arrived. i handed him a flower, and we stared at each other, he smiled and i sat down. my work was done.

she patiently waited in line, she had her heart set on dietcoke. finally, it was her turn. 'what, no ice?! ugh' she thought. she smacked the machine, there thats better. she glanced to the people behind her and smiled. she reached for the dietcoke, 'no? well, maybe.' but then, at the moment of uncertainty, she chose pep-soda. that wonderful sweet blue nectar with eleven vitamins and minerals. she started to walk away but stopped. she glanced around the cafeteria searching for something or someone. it seem to her that someone was narrating her every thought and action, then she turned and saw me, and we stared at each other. confused, she walked away. my work was done.

today was the day. i was going to blow the minds of dancer best with my superb latin dance skils. i waited for my moment and i took it when it arrived. i danced like i never danced before. it was magnificent. but noone noticed or even cared. heartbroken, i stoood the anger and stormed out of the building.

morning. she opened her eyes and sat up, rubbed her face and got up of bed. she glanced at her computer and walked into the bathroom. in the bathroom, she turned on the water and splashed her face with cold water, then she saw me. 'wot are you doing here?' she cried. she pushed me, so i ran.

this is my gift.
this is my curse.
this is my life.

i've got a hair cut today.

i am the narrator.

2007-10-08T01:39:00.000+08:00

smile

smile though your heart is aching
smile even though its breaking
when there are clouds in the sky, youll get by
if you smile through your fear and sorrow
smile and maybe tomorrow
youll see the sun come shining through for you

light up your face with gladness
hide every trace of sadness
although a tear may be ever so near
thats the time you must keep on trying
smile, whats the use of crying?
youll find that life is still worthwhile
if you just smile

so wot are you waiting for, my miserable fools?
im waiting for you to smile, aye!